Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
