She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
did you just send me my own nude
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
