I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
