Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
farters have to be the big spoon...
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
