Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
tequila makes me forget i have legs
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
