I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
