I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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