Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Randomize
