no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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