I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
