I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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