I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
