Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
