did you get engaged???
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Randomize
