Do vagina's smell?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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