I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
