Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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