Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
