sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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