is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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