I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I will pee on everything he values.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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