The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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