I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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