I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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