I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Randomize
