it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
