Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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