I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Randomize
