also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
