I can tuck mytits in my pants
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
No subtext here. People are naked.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
