the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
So much rum. So many feels.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
