There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
