When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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