I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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