Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
