It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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