Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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