i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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