Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
