You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
