Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
