i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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