today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
