Me too!
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
