That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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