I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Farmville is her only friend.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
