But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
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