My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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