I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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