Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
