Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
